The Pattengale Theory

According to Dr. Pattengale statistics show the MOST successful students doing the following:

(The following suggestions appeared in a study manual for one of my classes)

• Never miss class (16hrs/week)
• Average 3-4 hrs of study per class hour (4 x 16hrs/week)
• Get 7-8 hrs. sleep per night (8x7hrs/week)
• Never work more than 20hrs per week (20hrs/week)
• Eat 3 well balanced meals per day (7days x 2hrs/ week)
• Have personal quiet time daily (7x 1hr/ week)
• Have a cheerleader. Talk and share often (5hrs/week??)

The above calculations were added by myself.

Successful student= 16 + (4x16) + (8x7) + 20 + (7x2) + 7 + 5 = 182hrs/week

Hours in 7 day week= 7x24= 168hrs/week

Hours in an actual week MINUS Hours in successful student’s week = -14hrs

Successful student = Logical impossibility

**I believe our beloved President (George W.) would say something like, “Seems like fuzzy math to me, Al.” Somebody must know something I do not. I have not yet figured out how to add hours to my week. I am going to hire a personal cheerleader though because I could definitely use more hours in my week.
Keep in mind, we haven’t factored in anything in regards to necessities such as communication with others (family, friends, etc), going to the bathroom, bathing (successful students=stinky!) going to church (or chapel for that matter), extra nursing (or class) meetings (we all know they exist!!), and the list rolls on. AND we haven’t even begun to think of having fun…you can forget that as a successful student.
Also keep in mind, Dr. Pattengale makes the following recommendations which didn’t make the above time calculations:
· Successful students show initiative: their desire to excel makes them do MORE WORK THAN IS REQUIRED
· Never assume that the same effort they expended the year/semester before will earn equally high grades this semester (PROGRESSION CALLS FOR MORE EFFORT!!!)

Well you can count me out. Sounds like success comes at to high a price for me. I’ll settle for being the best student I can, while I depend on the Lord to lead me and show me where to best invest my time.

Here’s to a “successful” semester: Cheers!